


Face Reality As It Is

by AWitchOfMind (MroBeta)



Category: Gone Series - Michael Grant
Genre: (partly based on the ending of the sequel trilogy), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Existential Crisis, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Rated mostly for language and references to violent events, Spoilers for whole Series, THEY'RE STILL ALIVE IN MY HEART MG
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:06:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27716525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MroBeta/pseuds/AWitchOfMind
Summary: The notification was trivial - just some news article about something he never cared about anyway - but his eyes remained fixed on the screen. Specifically, on the date.4:37am, November 10th, 2017.2017.~~~~~~Caine wakes up to find that over a year of his life never happened.
Relationships: Diana Ladris/Caine Soren, more will be added as they come - Relationship
Comments: 9
Kudos: 13





	1. death is just an illusion

**Author's Note:**

> A few notes before we begin:
> 
> \- I have not read the Monster trilogy, so I don't know the full details of the whole 'simulation' thing, only that it was a thing. Apologies if some things don't align; feel free to consider this an AU.
> 
> \- I made it so that the FAYZ occurred in 2017 rather than 2008 because frankly I don't remember that year at all (I was like 7 at the time). Nothing that happened within the FAYZ will have changed though. The reason it's 9 years ahead rather than 10 is because the FAYZ happened on a school day.
> 
> \- I'm British, and because of that I don't know much about the American school system. I've tried to do some research, but sorry if I still get some things wrong.
> 
> \- I haven't written fanfiction for Gone before, and also haven't written at all in a while, so apologies if the characterisation is a little off.
> 
> \- SPOILERS FOR PRETTY MUCH THE ENTIRE SERIES (the first six books at least) BUT ESPECIALLY LIGHT.
> 
> All that said, enjoy! (Please forgive the weird chapter title, haha)

“Now, Little Pete. Right now.”

No sooner had he spoken his final words, Caine started to feel his body getting lighter. An image faded into view, a memory that had only occurred a few months ago - yet it felt like years had passed since then. Him and Diana, together on the island. Just the two of them. He smiled inwardly.

_You’re giving me a good memory to go out on, aren’t you Pete? Well, good choice._

As far as he was concerned, this wasn’t the worst way to go. It was painless, and what better way to atone for the things you’ve done than a heroic sacrifice? He was dying on his own terms. And if Little Pete was successful, this would kill the Gaiaphage and bring down the FAYZ with it. Diana would be safe. And the others too, he supposed.

_Huh. I can’t feel my body._

_Huh._

The memory, and his thoughts, faded as Little Pete replaced Caine’s consciousness with his own. Caine felt the rest of himself fade along with them, completely oblivious to his surroundings and the people watching in shock. He didn’t hear the unfamiliar voice from his own mouth. Nor the bright light as Little Pete finally brought an end to the nightmare that lasted over a year. 

Nor did he notice the unusual strings of ones and zeros that flashed across his vision in the last millisecond before he finally died.

**~~~~~~**

Caine woke up with a start.

For a few moments, he felt like he couldn’t move. Wherever he was, it was dark. He felt a sudden rush of fear as he thought of that mineshaft, where that _thing_ had laid dormant. It would be appropriate for him to suffer through all that again, for his eternal punishment. He wasn’t about to deny that fact: he was dead, and now he was going to rot in hell where he belonged. Hell, for him, was obviously going to be something to do with the Darkness. Caine started to close his eyes, preparing himself for whatever pain was sure to come, only to notice a faint blue light streaming in from... a window?

Heart still pounding, he pushed himself up and cast his gaze around the room (it had to be a room, what else would have a window?). Once he did, he realised just how familiar the place was. He was in a decent-sized room, containing two beds, two dressers, two desks and chairs. The walls, which had been painted in a clearly fake attempt to look old and ornate, were decorated with a few posters on each side, though he couldn’t make them out in the dim light. On one of the chairs, someone had draped a dark red blazer, with a shadow of an emblem sewn onto it.

So Caine’s hell was Coates Academy. How fitting.

A movement on the other side of the room startled him, and his head immediately swivelled to look at the other occupant. Of course, the only person it could be was Drake Merwin, who was currently asleep. Caine’s brow furrowed as he turned away. How was _Drake_ here? Did he die too? Wasn’t he pretty much immortal now? Unless he died along with the Gaiaphage. Caine had no idea where he was during that final battle, anything could have happened. Though it wouldn’t have surprised him if his own personal hell involved the psychopath.

He hadn’t realised he was muttering out loud until he heard a frustrated sound from across the room.

“Either leave the room if you wanna have a private conversation with yourself, or shut the fuck up and go back to sleep,” the now-awake-and-annoyed Drake said. Caine was still lost in thought, and it took a second to register that he had spoken. He was unsure whether to address this possibly-fake version of his ‘friend’, but decided that he may as well bite the bullet. Not like he had anything to lose.

“Why are you here, Drake?” he asked. Short and simple. Either he’d get an answer or he’d get killed, which was probably par for the course.

“What do you mean, ‘why are you here’? I told you. I shot a kid.”

“No, I know that. I mean…” Caine paused as he considered his wording carefully. “I’m pretty sure I’m dead, and now I’m in this hell, or whatever it is. So how did _you_ get here?”

There was a brief pause before he heard Drake groan. “Caine, I don’t want to hear about whatever fucked-up dream you had. If I wasn’t in it, I don’t care.”

Caine was about to snap back at Drake, when the screen of his phone lit up beside him. The notification was trivial - just some news article about something he never cared about anyway - but his eyes remained fixed on the screen. Specifically, on the date.

4:37am, November 10th, 2017.

_2017_.

Over a year ago.

He died, and woke up over a year before it happened, back on the day the FAYZ began. That is, assuming it had even happened. Had it really happened? Had he somehow managed to _dream_ the final year of his life? He remembered everything: the first battle, the power plant, the island, the bugs, the Gaiaphage. Was any of that even _real_? Was he going crazy?

Caine’s head fell back against the pillow, eyes staring blankly up at the ceiling. He could hear Drake’s slow breathing as he slept across the room. For a moment, he wondered whether this was some cruel joke by whatever deity was punishing him. Make him think he was going insane. Or maybe everything _did_ just happen in his own head.

He didn’t sleep the rest of the night.


	2. endless hypotheticals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caine prepares for what he believes to be the inevitable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter ended up longer than the previous one - apologies for the wait, I hope it’s worth it!

For the three hours before he had to get up, Caine ran through several more theories in his head. Everything from the FAYZ being a vivid nightmare to some fucked-up Groundhog Day scenario, but none of them seemed right. He didn’t know _why_ they seemed to be wrong, or what the ‘right’ answer even was, but he had to work out what was going on. He was still somewhat convinced that he was in hell - it was the only place he _could_ be, considering he had ‘died’ - but that theory became less plausible as he thought. He kept checking his phone every ten minutes or so, checking the date in case it was suddenly going to change, until Drake told him to shut up for the second time that night.

(Speaking of Drake, Caine had decided very quickly that he wouldn’t tell him about his… mutation. Even if it was just a dream ~~but it felt so real~~ he wasn’t going to fuel the psychopath’s sadistic fantasies. He might take it as a joke - or worse, a challenge. The last thing Caine needed while he was trying to work out what was going on was Drake attempting to _literally_ whip other kids into submission.)

His phone alarm started to ring at 7:00am, snapping him out of his thoughts, and he sat up and looked around the room once more. It was much brighter now, thanks to the morning light, and yep, it was still his room. That hadn’t suddenly changed over three hours. If it had been a normal day at Coates, before everything had gone downhill, he would be up and getting ready in the usual routine. That felt like such a long time ago. He hadn’t had to wear the Coates uniform for over a year. He remained sat in his bed for about fifteen minutes - lost in thought _yet again,_ seriously, he was never this thoughtful in the past - before finally standing and getting dressed. Drake had ignored him and was already gone - probably to harass some poor sixth-grader - by the time Caine was ready, leaving him alone in the dorm room.

A question suddenly crossed his mind: if he was in hell, or in some weird time loop or whatever, did he still have his power? It had first manifested several months ago, so it was already second nature to him by the time the FAYZ appeared - surely he still had it. He stretched a hand out towards a book sat on the desk, already prepared for it to be launched into the air.

The book didn’t move. Caine’s heart sank.

He tried again. Nothing happened. He tried every motion he could think of, trying to push the book off, lift it in the air, anything. Even just making it move an inch, but no matter what he tried, it didn’t move. With each failure, each frantic gesture - he must have looked like a lunatic, if anyone walked in - he grew more and more frustrated, until he cursed loudly and collapsed in his chair. The telekinesis, the mutation he had been using for over a year, was gone. He felt like he had lost a limb. Without his power, he wouldn’t be able to take control. He wouldn’t be able to scare the other kids into following his orders.

_No,_ Caine suddenly thought, _that’s not true_. The other kids _already_ feared him. The only people who knew about his power before the FAYZ were Diana, Drake and the other mutants. He’d had his reign over the school long before the FAYZ, no power required. If the FAYZ was going to happen again, he could still take over Perdido Beach. 

Sam and his crew would be harder to deal with, but he’d cross that bridge when he got to it.

Smoothing his hair back, Caine finally opened the door to a corridor of kids rushing through. He had been half-expecting a hellscape (anything was possible), but the scene in front of him was… normal. For Coates, that is. Diana and Drake were stood waiting at the side of the hallway. Caine’s heart leapt at the sight of the girl he loved, but he tried not to let it show once he spotted the impatient looks on their faces.

“Took you long enough,” Drake grumbled, before stalking ahead to the cafeteria. Diana looked Caine up and down - he knew he probably looked a mess - before the two followed. As they walked, Caine could feel the eyes of various kids on the three of them. He wasn’t sure if they used to stare so openly.

As if reading his mind, Diana commented, “Wow, they look scared of you.”

“As they should be,” he replied, as two girls scuttled away at his glance.

“No, they look _terrified_. Like you just threatened to kill their families or something.”

_Hm_. Caine’s pace slowed as he looked at the frightened faces of some of the other students. Diana was right - they didn’t look _this_ afraid back before the FAYZ. They must know about what happened in the past - or future, or whatever it was. The running theory of ‘Groundhog FAYZ’ was the most likely now, if it wasn’t just him who remembered. Except… not everyone did. Drake didn’t remember, and judging by the reactions of some of the other kids, they didn’t either. So some do, others don’t. What’s the link?

_And what are they remembering that’s making them so afraid?_ Caine wondered, _The plastering? Probably the plastering._ The thought of what Penny did to him crossed his mind, but the moment it did, he quenched the thought and moved to catch up to Diana.

“I couldn’t use my power this morning. It’s like it’s just gone,” he said, trying to make conversation as the group collected their breakfast. Caine tried not to express how happy he was to be eating real food again, despite how bland it was.

“Your power?” Diana asked, not looking up from her phone.

_Oh no._ “Yeah, you know…” Caine made a vague lifting motion with his hand, voice lowering.

This time, Diana did look up, only to shoot Caine a quizzical expression. “What are you talking about?”

“Don’t tell me it’s about the dream, man,” Drake said, “I told you, I don’t care.”

Caine froze. He opened his mouth to respond, but found that he didn’t know what to say. Diana didn’t remember his power - which meant she didn’t remember the FAYZ. She didn’t remember everything they had been through together, and alone. Caine had been preparing himself for whatever would happen in this post-pre-FAYZ, but he wasn’t prepared for this. He didn’t know how to explain the FAYZ to her without making himself look crazy - but he knew he had to eventually. 

_Not now_ , he thought. _Not yet. When it happens again, I will._

Diana turned her attention back to her phone after sending him one more suspicious glance, and the three ate in silence. A few tables down, Caine noticed Brianna glaring at the back of Drake’s head, and he smiled inwardly.

**~~~~~~**

The first couple of classes drifted by in a haze. Caine had too much else on his mind to care about Calculus or History or whatever, spending most of the lessons observing some of his classmates. Most of them ignored him completely, paying attention to either the classes or anything else, but he noticed the way some would shoot worried or angry glances in his direction. When the group walked to their next classes, some of the kids would stay as far away from them as possible, practically trying to blend into the walls. This was especially true when they spotted Drake, staring at his right arm as if it would suddenly morph into a twitching tentacle. Caine found himself occasionally doing the same. The wariness that had come from seeing the horrific acts committed by the blond boy hadn’t yet faded.

_You’re still in charge, Caine. You will be, when it all happens again._

That was the only explanation for this. Waking up a year earlier, remembering everything that happened, what else could it be? The FAYZ was going to happen again, and judging by the reactions of some of the other students, they knew it too.

Caine may not have had his powers anymore, but maybe this was part of the trick - making changes with each loop to see what happens.

_But what was causing it? The Gaiaphage? Little Pete? God?_

Either way, Caine was making a plan as he sat in his 10:00am class. He’d have to do some things differently, but he hadn’t used his power on anyone right at the start. He was prepared. He was ready.

A faded digital clock hung on the wall above the chalkboard (what school in 2017 still used a _chalkboard_?). The teacher, a stout old woman he never liked, failed to notice that around half of the students’ eyes were fixed on the changing numbers, watching it count down to the minute everything changed. 

10:16.

Caine turned to look at Diana, who wasn’t focused on the clock or the teacher. _Take control of Coates first, then tell her. Tell her everything._

10:17.

He turned back to face the front of the room, and waited for the longest minute of his life. This was it.

10:18.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Nothing happened.

Caine’s eyes shot to the teacher as soon as the final minute passed, but she was still there. For a moment, he wondered if the clock in the room was running fast. So he checked his watch, but it simply stated the exact same time.

Another minute passed. The teacher was still there.

The worried students started whispering to one another. Some of them kept glancing at the teacher. Some of them kept glancing at Caine.

The teacher’s droning voice faded into the background as Caine slumped back in his chair. The big event he had been preparing himself for all morning - the ‘poof’, the start of the FAYZ, the start of the most chaotic year in Perdido Beach - didn’t happen. He found himself staring down at his (useless, powerless) hands as the confused, weary fog in his brain grew.

No power.

No FAYZ.

No control.

_Now what?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m gonna plug my Twitter account here, considering I use it solely to post GONE content.
> 
> My username is @GoneCosmos.

**Author's Note:**

> I can explain more about how this works out in my head - it will probably be explained more in any future chapters (if I get around to doing them) but if you want to know more I can explain in comments.  
> Also I'm not good at writing long chapters... I also might go back and edit this at a later date, since I tend to basically write a stream of consciousness and that doesn't always work out.


End file.
